What a horrific day!! Seven sticks and no success today for the antibiotics. I made a horrible mistake letting the nurse take out the IV on Friday. The visiting nurse today was a complete disaster. Maggie thrashed and threw her tantrum (which is has been her usual this go around). The nurse got freaked and couldn't get a successful IV. Each time we had to do it, Maggie flipped out more. My baby was already traumatized by IV's and now the trauma is tripled.
My heart is completely broken for her and my stomach feels like I could puke at any second. I am frozen in some freak moment and I can't even cry. I guess it is adrenalin that keeps me going or maybe my faith. I don't know how I am walking around and doing what needs to be done. It is like I am autopilot and I just keep putting one foot in front of another. I just need to stay in the present moment and do what is in front me.
Please God help me do what needs to be done. Keep Maggie close to Your heart and help soothe her fears and sadness. Give me the strength needed to help walk her through whatever is coming her way.
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