Shout It Out

A memo to my husband:

I know you hate emails and blogs but I am sometimes better at expressing myself when I write. And yes I am forcing you to read this as I did my previous letter. It is all part of my charm : ) I also want to shout it out to the world (or at least the few who happen to read my blog) that you are the most awesome husband a woman could ever hope for.

We have had our share of ups and downs. Lately we hit a few bumps along the way with life happening as life tends to do. There were moments we were not very patient or kind with each other. We snapped and sniped about the everyday and the not so everyday moments. It was not the life we wanted or promised in October of 2005 as we said those vows in front of family and friends.

In those same vows we promised for better or worse. So this was one of the "worse" moments and we had a decision of which way to go. You stood tall and stepped up. Together we talked, not only about what was best for us, but what was best for our children. The past couple of months, you have worked hard to do whatever you can to make the worse into the better. I have watched you change and grow. You have faced some fears and challenges with courage and strength.

When I tried to explain to someone about where we were at I had a hard time. I just couldn't find the right words to verbalize how our relationship has changed. It is no longer that "head over heels"/"you complete me" place. I tried talking about the connection/emotion part but I just couldn't quite put my finger on it. Last night and today when we talked it popped into my head like a light bulb. You are, and have been since the moment we started, my best friend. I know you feel the same because of our talks and our song (Best Friend by Queen).

When we met and fell in love I had expectations of what "love" and "marriage" was. I watched my family and friends, putting the same expectations on us. That was were I went wrong. On this journey I have learned that we are very different from all those I have seen or experienced. We are not the mushy love or cuddly love. I don't ever feel we will fit into that overemoting (although I am a bit overemotional sometimes). I don't see us in that category of the couples who are "so in love". Our relationship is built on friendship so deep and so connected. I don't make sense without you because you somehow ground me. Our love is a deep-rooted strength that just is. It keeps me safe, confident and strong. It is comfortable and warm. We will hit rough waters again but I know that what we have built is strong enough to hold us together. No matter what comes our way we will face it and grow stronger.

I love you with all that I am. You are my rock, my sense and my safe haven. I know that no matter what I say or do, in the end it is your arms that will make it all better.

Love,

Suzi