My Shoes

I just finished a conversation with someone who does not have children who suffer from chronic conditions. This person had a lot of wisdom and ideas about the best way to handle the situations and many opinions about the choices Rick and I have made. The person belittled my fears/anxieties and reminded me I needed to let it go. I am making a mountain out of a molehill. In this person's opinion my drama card is in full play and I am just working to be the center of attention.

I have an anger in my soul about this whole idea/conversation. The sad thing is that this person is not the only one in our lives who has reacted or feels this way. I am told that on the outside my kids look happy and healthy so what I am jabbering on about. But the truth is I work darn hard to keep balance. Rick and I make it a priority to do everything possible so they are happy and healthy. It doesn't happen just by chance. And honestly, we feel blessed that they are as happy and healthy as they are.

You see in my opinion, people who do not have a child who has been seriously ill, or taking it one step further, is not chronically ill, have no idea what this life is about. They cannot begin to understand the anxieties, fears, exhaustion, joy, happiness and plain out gratitude that comes with the territory. The have not had to watch as one of their babies screamed and cried as an IV was stuck in their arm. No doctor has every explained to them that when their 3 year old gets sick again (and the odds are she will get very sick again), he doesn't have many choices for antibiotics. Matter of fact, he is not sure what he will do. They have not sat, after putting their 23 month old to bed, wondering if when they go to the doctor in the am AGAIN if he will tell us the same thing.

As a parent, we love our children with everything we have. When both of my babies were placed in my arms I had dreams and hopes for them. Nowhere in those dreams were Selective IgA Deficiency, asthma or an allergy to penicillin. I never thought of a doctor telling me to "expect" them to be sick at least 3 times a month and celebrating when they were not. I don't know what the future holds for either or them but you can bet they both will make their marks on the world.

I love my children and do the best I can by them everyday. I make mistakes and fall along the way (as we all do). I try to give them roots and wings. I teach them about God and faith. I give them limits and love. I try to teach them life as a zebra and hope to help them overcome any obstacles they run into (including people). And I work to remember a very important mantra - IT IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF ME! Now if they would just keep it to themselves : )