Let Them Be Little

Okay I was driving home this morning after dropping Maggie off at school. I heard this song called, "Let Them Be Little" that one of Maggie's teachers gave me a couple of years ago. In the song it talks about just letting your children be young and do all the things little ones do before they grow up. In the middle of the song I started to cry. It was an out-of-the-blue, tear-dropping cry. All I could feel with this sadness in heart and soul. I had been fine all morning, actually it had been a pretty stress-free start to the day. What was this all about?

So I said a prayer, cried my tears and continued home. Then it occurred to me why this sudden sadness at a song I have listened to many times before. I feel like it sometimes is a struggle for my kids just to be "little". There is always one more doctor appt, one more IV or blood test or just feeling plain sick. A 3 year old should not have a a complete knowledge of how to get an IV or struggle with the fear. A 22 month old should not be on his 2nd round of blood tests to check all his "numbers".

It breaks my heart that my babies can't just be 3 or 22 months without having to also go through obstacles other "healthy" children don't have to. They must walk a journey that is going to sometimes cause them not to be normal or to know far to much about what is happening in their bodies. There will be scary moments for them and for me. I am guessing a lot of tears will be shed and hugs needed as we face each medical crisis.

There is a silver lining in this journey. I have learned so much about myself, parenting and my kids the past few months. I have faced fears, practiced gratitude and trusted in my faith. I have handed to God the most precious blessings he has ever given me. And He has cared for them and carried me every inch of the way. I have realized that sweating the small stuff is so exhausting. It is not important if my house is clean, we have participated in all the "right" activities, the kids have "behaved" properly or honestly, what people think of the choices I make. I just have to do the next right thing and what is right for my family.

I have learned far to much to share in one entry. I will share one of the most important lessons. Be kind to myself - esp as a Mom. I love my children with all of my heart and soul. I keep them safe and work hard to make our house a home. I do the best I can and have faith that God is with me every step of the way. I am so grateful there is an entity stronger and wiser who can help, hold and love both me and my family.