To go or not to go that is the question! Anxiety is rearing its ugly head and I am about to back down and back out. It would be a great resource and I would probably get amazing information. I would meet others who have pid and get a chance to learn more about this chronic condition. The info would probably be extremely helpful for Maggie and Ricky. I might even benefit from a few days on my own. A respite and vacation. I could learn about myself and explore who I am away from being Mom.
But........I would be gone Thur morning thru Sunday morning. I would miss my kids and husband horribly. The nights would be hard b/c I would be wishing I was here with them instead of in a hotel room. I already have travel anxiety and the thought of going alone terrifies me. Add in the social anxiety and it just freezes my soul. I am not good at going into situations where I don't know anyone and being comfortable. I usually shut down and end up sitting quietly(and miserably) by myself. I hate that!
So the question is still out there on if I go in June or not. Rick and I have some financial/budget things to decide on so I still have time to freak about it. In all honesty this is one I need to hand over and let God lead the way. Cause if I do I will probably hide from the fear b/c it is easier not necessarily the next right thing. And if I can let it go what is supposed to happen will.
No comments:
Post a Comment