Changes

Lately I have felt like I am going through some kind of metamorphosis. I believe it started within the last year and has slowly began to ebb into all areas in my life. I really have felt it with this last bout of medical stuff with Maggie. The fear was there but the anxiety was missing. That in itself is a miracle! It seems the anxiety was replaced by a faith strong and constant. I felt the presence of God and was able to let go and trust.

Recently, a lot has happened in my life. Some might say my plate is full. I have the normal stresses of life with 2 small children, working on my marriage, all the kids' medical concerns and my Mom's medical concerns. I am trying to balance all this and continue to take care of my own needs and nurture my faith. In the past this all might be crippling. At this moment, it all feels manageable and a task I am completely up for.

I have work to do to dial down the emotion and utilize more thinking. And there are certainly more areas that I need to improve on in my life. I am far from perfect. But I feel serenity and calmness today. I am confident I can handle all that is in my life. There is a strength inside me that helps me to put one foot in front of the other. For the first time in forever, I feel comfortable in my skin and truly have found an appreciation and love for who I am (warts and all).

This newfound strength and confidence is in direct result of the grace of God. He is intervened in my life and put amazing people to help me get to this place. My serenity is a blessing from Him and my strength is a miracle. There have been some tough and ugly moments in the past couple of months. In those moments, I have handed my fears and problems to God. I have done the footwork and left the results to God. Today I sat quietly watching the kids climb and cuddle with Rick as they all shared popsicles. I realized that through all that I am happy and extremely blessed. My life may not be perfect but it is perfectly unperfect. I love every person (okay most people), every part and every moment.

In the future, I will hit speed bumps, obstacles and challenges. I used to live in fear of those moments or who I would be at those moments. Today I look forward to those moments and the growth they bring with them. I want to continue to learn and change. I know God will be with me and help me navigate my way through. I just have to follow His will and listen to His guidance. It always works out as it needs to be. And I must always stay grateful for the miracles and blessings He has given me. Life is awesome and I want to praise God for all He has blessed me with!