Long Night

Last night by 10:30 both kids were up and feeling horrible. Maggie woke up with a cough that wouldn't stop and Ricks was so congested he couldn't sleep. A few minutes later Rick came upstairs to report that he felt under the weather with the same cold. I got Ricks settled back in his crib around 11:30ish and Maggie fell asleep on me. Rick decided that he couldn't fall asleep so he went back down to study.

Soon enough my body started to ache and my nose felt congested. I squirmed out from under Maggie long enough to get some Thera Flu. As soon as I got comfortable again about 1 both kids woke up again. Maggie needed a couple puffs of albuterol and Ricks just couldn't sleep. So we were up until after 3 when he started to fall asleep sitting up while watching Elmo. Ricks was up again at 5:30 and finally 7 am for the day.

Rick came up to bed at 1 to help with Ricks. So both of us feel under the weather and got close to no sleep. The kids are sick and the lack of sleep has made them grouchy. Okay I will be honest, the lack of sleep has made me feel extremely grouchy. My mood from last night has only gotten surly. I am doing all I can not to crab and snap at people who call or email. Today is a rainy, cold day and truly not one of my best. I would love to be a hermit crab who could crawl back into my shell until the sun comes out and I feel better.

I don't have that option because I am the Mom. I have to find the strength, love and patience. I just read in one of my books about looking to God for strength and man do I need it now. My Mom told me something important this morning when I called her feeling like I was at the end of my rope. She told me that God allows us to have human moments and fall apart. We are allowed to have bad days where we feel cruddy and struggle. It is on those days He lifts us up and carries us like the poem footprints. My Mom's advice was, "Let him carry you today. Feel sad, angry, crappy but stay hopeful and know He is there."

And that is what I am going to do. My body aches, my head hurts, my nose is congested and I am exhausted. My emotions are exaggerated and well-meaning wishes/advice makes me want to scream. All I want is people to offer a hope you feel better and move on. I am capable and able to take care of my kids when all of us are sick. I just feel grouchy and want to say it sucks. I don't need directives and ideas. Man am I grouchy. I just need to remember that this to shall pass. Tomorrow will be better. God just keep sending me the strength.