The inevitable is happening. The kids (well all of us) got a nasty, boogie cold. It is the kind that sends green pouring out of the kid's noses non-stop. I followed my plan and took both kids in to be examined. We got the viral diagnosis but the warning about secondary infections (aka sinus infections). Maggie and Ricky are both susceptible to these nasty infections. Rick humidified their rooms at night, we put them to bed early and did all in our power to get rid of the colds and hold off the sinus infection.
This morning Maggie sounded much better. Rick and I both commented on that fact that maybe she was over the hump of the cold and on her way to 100%. We spoke to soon because no more than an hour later, Maggie told me her sinuses by her nose hurt. As she pointed to the exact location she clarified, "They only hurt a little bit Mommy. I don't think they need IV antibiotics." Oh boy, here we go again!
I filled the prescription for Biaxin that Dr. T had given me on Monday. Maggie took her first dose tonight and she has until Tuesday for it to help clear up the infection. If on Tuesday she still has sinus pain, we are back to Dr. T. Honestly, I don't know what he will do and I don't think he knows either. He may chose to put her on Cipro which is a pretty strong antibiotic for kids. Or he may pull the trigger on the feared "IV Antibiotic".
The anxiety hits when I think of that. IV's are Maggie's biggest fear. She has just settled back down into normalcy after her last bout. I hate to think of bringing all that fear/anxiety up again. Hopefully with the help of our team, esp. Dr. Bothe, we have new tools to help alleviate some of the behaviors/feelings.
As for me, it breaks me heart. I don't want to see her sick the week before her birthday. Certainly I don't want to worry about ports and IV's over her birthday weekend. I want her to have fun and celebrate her big day with her awesome gymnastics party. It makes me angry that my kids have to go through situations like this. My heart feels sad, angry and worried all at one time. It doesn't help that Ricks seems to be getting no better. His nose is pouring out green boogies non-stop. If he doesn't improve by Tuesday he will be back to Dr. T to get his own antibiotic.
So here I am with 2 primary immune deficient children who are both sick. They both may be developing secondary infections from the basic common cold. They both may need strong antibiotics for long periods to wipe out the infections. I, as their mother, will be there the whole way. I will hold them during the scary times, try to kiss away the painful times, smile and support them through each moment and love them with all of my heart and soul. I will stay present the best I can and hold onto my faith that God is with us through each moment.
This is a journey and each moment helps us build strength for the next. I have no explanation or reason as to why any of this has happened to my sweethearts. All I have is the faith that there is a bigger picture and we are not alone. For all the bad, each experience has made everyone of us stronger and better. Our relationships, esp Rick and my marriage, have changed and deepened. So I guess this Good Friday I can look at the kids' PID as our cross to bear. I would rather take the perspective that it has been a blessing (although sometimes hard and heartbreaking).
Please God guide me and give me strength no matter what our journey holds the next couple weeks. With You by my side I can handle anything. Amen.
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