Monday, September 19, 2011
Signing Off
This will be the last entry in this blog. It is time to move on. It has been a great tool the past 9 months or so. I think it helped me process the good, the bad and the plain out ugly. I have learned a lot, cried a little, celebrated the moments, gave thanks for the blessings and deepened my faith. Thanks to all who dropped by! It has been such a gift to share this journey with you. God bless!
Powering
Just trying to power through......got to get things done.....need sleep and Theraflu....gonna make it though.....praying and powering.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Sick & Tired
I am feeling so sick and plain out exhausted. Why is that at the beginning of the most busy time I have had in a long time, I get sick? My chest feels like a huge elephant is sitting on it and I am so tired I can barely pick up my fingers as they type. I need to curl up in my bed with some Theraflu and a good book. A day in bed wouldn't hurt either but that is impossible. Tomorrow we have Sunday School orientation, return clothes that don't fit, laundry, change sheets, clean bathroom and finally my weekly respite with friends. Plus I have work to actually get done if Maggie takes a quiet time. It won't be a quiet day.
I am just saying prayers and asking for the strength to do what needs to be done. And trying to crash before 9 at night so I can at least get some sleep!
I am just saying prayers and asking for the strength to do what needs to be done. And trying to crash before 9 at night so I can at least get some sleep!
Friday, September 16, 2011
Hectic
I love fall. Cooler weather and warm sweaters have their charm. I like the beginning of the "holidays" like Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas. Fall activities such as apple picking, costume shopping, fall nature walks and trips to the metroparks to check out the colors of the leaves are all fun. Apple cider, caramel apples and hot spice tea are so yummy. But I am not loving our fall schedule!
I am already missing our lazy days of summer around here. Waking up at 7:30/8 and lazying in our bed with the kids as we watch a Dora or Elmo was just the right way to start a day. I miss eating a quick breakfast, sunblocking up and spending the whole morning in the backyard just playing, exploring and relaxing. We had no where to be and no need for a schedule. Rick's schedule was flexible and we got to spend a lot of Daddy time. I do love the warm temps and beautiful sun. Mostly I miss not having something to do or somewhere to go every day.
This week was our first full fall week. By today we were all dragging a bit with exhaustion and empty tanks. The alarm rang at 6:30 and we were all up and running by 7:15 (we hit the snooze a couple times). Maggie is in school 5 mornings and encountering a bit of school tireds. Ricks was busy with his normal playing and being dragged to run errands. Rick has his fall class schedule in full swing. Not to mention that our fall allergies are hitting with full force. To add to the fun Ricks' chronic hives and non-allergic allergic reaction are waking him (and me) up at all hours of the night. The best was at 11 this morning he was broken out and need Bendryl. This prompted a nap on the couch during lunch and lunch at 1:45 with no quiet time.
I could have used that quiet time. My schedule seems to have ramped up and taken off. I have a list of to do's that never seems to end. Today I had a presentation about immune deficiencies and handwashing at Maggie's school. I also have been asked for feedback on teaching/developing information for younger children about immune deficiencies. I spent a huge chunk of time on the phone yesterday with a fb friend who is a rep for the company that develops most of the children material.
Add that to figuring out how to put together a newsletter for Maggie's school and getting deadlines out to all the right people. Plus the large need done list for our St. Clare Ministry Fair and getting ready for Sunday School. If I wasn't busy enough I have school starting in one week. Plus you have to add in the weekly doctor's visits for myself, the kids and my mother. I don't think I have a week for at least over a month when someone doesn't have to go to a doctor somewhere.
The best part of my schedule is trying to carve out some good family time, meals together and cuddling up at the end of the day. I also at least one dinner or lunch planned with a friend for the next few weeks. I also have the honor of my weekly outings with some wonderful ladies. These things are all blessings. I love each opportunity. My life has been filled with some awesome people. I daily and sometimes more than once, thank God for all of the gifts He has placed in our lives. My life is full in so many ways and I have no need of anything.
And people wonder why I just wanted to lay low this summer? Because I knew that once fall started life would full steam ahead!
I am already missing our lazy days of summer around here. Waking up at 7:30/8 and lazying in our bed with the kids as we watch a Dora or Elmo was just the right way to start a day. I miss eating a quick breakfast, sunblocking up and spending the whole morning in the backyard just playing, exploring and relaxing. We had no where to be and no need for a schedule. Rick's schedule was flexible and we got to spend a lot of Daddy time. I do love the warm temps and beautiful sun. Mostly I miss not having something to do or somewhere to go every day.
This week was our first full fall week. By today we were all dragging a bit with exhaustion and empty tanks. The alarm rang at 6:30 and we were all up and running by 7:15 (we hit the snooze a couple times). Maggie is in school 5 mornings and encountering a bit of school tireds. Ricks was busy with his normal playing and being dragged to run errands. Rick has his fall class schedule in full swing. Not to mention that our fall allergies are hitting with full force. To add to the fun Ricks' chronic hives and non-allergic allergic reaction are waking him (and me) up at all hours of the night. The best was at 11 this morning he was broken out and need Bendryl. This prompted a nap on the couch during lunch and lunch at 1:45 with no quiet time.
I could have used that quiet time. My schedule seems to have ramped up and taken off. I have a list of to do's that never seems to end. Today I had a presentation about immune deficiencies and handwashing at Maggie's school. I also have been asked for feedback on teaching/developing information for younger children about immune deficiencies. I spent a huge chunk of time on the phone yesterday with a fb friend who is a rep for the company that develops most of the children material.
Add that to figuring out how to put together a newsletter for Maggie's school and getting deadlines out to all the right people. Plus the large need done list for our St. Clare Ministry Fair and getting ready for Sunday School. If I wasn't busy enough I have school starting in one week. Plus you have to add in the weekly doctor's visits for myself, the kids and my mother. I don't think I have a week for at least over a month when someone doesn't have to go to a doctor somewhere.
The best part of my schedule is trying to carve out some good family time, meals together and cuddling up at the end of the day. I also at least one dinner or lunch planned with a friend for the next few weeks. I also have the honor of my weekly outings with some wonderful ladies. These things are all blessings. I love each opportunity. My life has been filled with some awesome people. I daily and sometimes more than once, thank God for all of the gifts He has placed in our lives. My life is full in so many ways and I have no need of anything.
And people wonder why I just wanted to lay low this summer? Because I knew that once fall started life would full steam ahead!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Mistakes
Isn't there a line in the song "My Way" by Frank Sinatra that goes "Mistakes, I made a few"? I suppose we all do because we are human. Thankfully God is all forgiving. But there is the human part to the mistake. As anyone who reads this blog can tell I have had my struggles and celebrations the past nine months. Life has thrown its curveballs at me. Some of them I have handled well, some I have struck out and some I have hit out of the park.
Unfortunately the ones that I have struck out on have had its causalities. There was an ongoing situation that happened which I did not care or feel comfortable sharing all of the details. A bit here, a bit there. Just enough to relieve some steam but not enough to expose the shame I felt about the situation. This caused a backlog which caused me to sometimes act like a jerk. An emotionally reactive jerk who did not always treat people well. A vent here, a snap there or just complete diversion into something which wouldn't let out the truth.
The situation is now looking more positive. I have made some major changes in my perspective and attitude. I have disengaged and detached. The relationship that was crumbling before my very eyes and at my complete devastation is actually slowly rebuilding itself. And now for the consequences elsewhere.
I saved my marriage but lost some friends. I have written there are a couple that it was just time to move on. That is true but I still mourn for them. I realize my part and pondered how I could have been a better friend and person. There is one friend who doesn't fall into that category. I made some major mistakes and now with time the friendship is slipping away. I feel truely sad to say goodbye for she was like a sister and I truly love her. I guess there are always consequences for the actions you choose.
With Rick and I moving towards more solid ground and some of the deep wounds healing I have looked around. I am a different person. I think I am a stronger, more confident person. I have a healthier view on life and relationships. My expectations are more realistic and grounded. My faith in God is deep and unwavering. I have met new friends and developed some great support systems. But there have been causalities that I don't think I can save. I have a sadness in my heart and pray that somehow, someday things will be restored. No matter what the future brings, I will love my friend and be grateful for all that we have shared.
Unfortunately the ones that I have struck out on have had its causalities. There was an ongoing situation that happened which I did not care or feel comfortable sharing all of the details. A bit here, a bit there. Just enough to relieve some steam but not enough to expose the shame I felt about the situation. This caused a backlog which caused me to sometimes act like a jerk. An emotionally reactive jerk who did not always treat people well. A vent here, a snap there or just complete diversion into something which wouldn't let out the truth.
The situation is now looking more positive. I have made some major changes in my perspective and attitude. I have disengaged and detached. The relationship that was crumbling before my very eyes and at my complete devastation is actually slowly rebuilding itself. And now for the consequences elsewhere.
I saved my marriage but lost some friends. I have written there are a couple that it was just time to move on. That is true but I still mourn for them. I realize my part and pondered how I could have been a better friend and person. There is one friend who doesn't fall into that category. I made some major mistakes and now with time the friendship is slipping away. I feel truely sad to say goodbye for she was like a sister and I truly love her. I guess there are always consequences for the actions you choose.
With Rick and I moving towards more solid ground and some of the deep wounds healing I have looked around. I am a different person. I think I am a stronger, more confident person. I have a healthier view on life and relationships. My expectations are more realistic and grounded. My faith in God is deep and unwavering. I have met new friends and developed some great support systems. But there have been causalities that I don't think I can save. I have a sadness in my heart and pray that somehow, someday things will be restored. No matter what the future brings, I will love my friend and be grateful for all that we have shared.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Version of Myself
You are here to become the-best-version-of-yourself. This is the universal meaning of the human experience. Making the choices and decisions that make up the fabric of our lives involves embracing anything that helps you to become the-best-version-of-yourself, and rejecting anything that does not. Anyone or anything that does not help you to become the-best-version-of-yourself is just too small for you. *Matthew Kelly
I ran into this theme and author tonight at a parish council meeting. I don't have much info on it and just did a little bit of research when I got home. I like the message. It seems to be fitting for where I am at and what I have been experiencing. I am finding out more about who I am and worrying less about what others think of me. There is a peace in this journey that only comes from God. I am really feeling guided by God's will and that I am finally seeing His calling for me (at least His calling at this moment). It is funny how tonight I had something in my heart and this came up. God knows just when and where to send the answer every time : )
I ran into this theme and author tonight at a parish council meeting. I don't have much info on it and just did a little bit of research when I got home. I like the message. It seems to be fitting for where I am at and what I have been experiencing. I am finding out more about who I am and worrying less about what others think of me. There is a peace in this journey that only comes from God. I am really feeling guided by God's will and that I am finally seeing His calling for me (at least His calling at this moment). It is funny how tonight I had something in my heart and this came up. God knows just when and where to send the answer every time : )
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Just Saying
I just need to say that I have the most fabulous husband in the entire universe. Only a couple of months ago we were at a real turning point and I wasn't sure what was going to happen next. Our differences brought me to my knees. Even in the darkest moments I loved Rick with all of my heart and soul. Our relationship is the first place I ever felt safe and completely loved. Two months later and the we seem to have made it to the light. The work is not done(is it ever?) but the rewards are already flowing in. I am the most blessed woman to have someone who loves me and tries to his best to be a better man. It may not be my way but it is definitely a noted effort.
This weekend has been amazing. Those moments of anxiety and fear were quieted by his strength and love. We may not always communicate well but somehow this weekend it happened just right. I needed and he provided. It is moments like tonight when I thank God for His miracles. The changes in me and our marriage have certainly shown me how wondrous God can be.
Like I said, Rick is the most awesome husband. I am so grateful to have him in my life. Just sayin'!
This weekend has been amazing. Those moments of anxiety and fear were quieted by his strength and love. We may not always communicate well but somehow this weekend it happened just right. I needed and he provided. It is moments like tonight when I thank God for His miracles. The changes in me and our marriage have certainly shown me how wondrous God can be.
Like I said, Rick is the most awesome husband. I am so grateful to have him in my life. Just sayin'!
An Attack
Last night Ricks woke me up twice. At first I thought it was just the end of the two year molar teething. I gave him some Ibuprofen, ice chips and tlc. The second time I got him up I noticed his lips were a bit swollen and he was pushing his tongue in and out of his mouth. This is his sign that his tongue is feeling funny. A look at his back showed a new wave of hives all over him. How could he be having an allergic reaction? He had 2 tsp of Allegra in him and a tsp of Zyrtec. This worried me.
I gave him 1 tsp of Bendryl and within 15 minutes he seemed to settle. His lips went down and the hives seemed to lighten. Another random allergic, non-allergic reaction in the middle of the night that we survived! I had no idea what had triggered it and was glad to have caught it.
This is the killer thing about this situation - there is no pattern or logic. Ricks' immune system seems to randomly send out histamine that attacks his body. There is no trigger or cause needed so it is not really an allergic reaction. It is just his immune system acting as if there is a cause. It is annoying and scary. It happens at weird times and now I always have Bendryl with me.
I am exhausted after last night and a bit freaked out. It is overwhelming me to think of leaving him with this going on. What if someone doesn't notice this is happening? He can't verbalize it and what if it slips by whoever is taking care of him? What if it progresses and his breathing is affected? Oh boy the fears can roll on forever.
Dr. T is running a lot of blood work and we will hopefully find out more in a couple weeks. It all seems to be leading back to some kind of autoimmune disorder. They say it is hard to diagnosis an autoimmune in small children and I will second that. It feels like we are looking for a needle in a haystack and we have only begun. I don't know what our next step is and just trying to have faith in God. I second that faith with trust in Dr. T.
Today, in this moment, I feel scared. I also know in my heart that I will find the strength and courage needed in God. I will continue to send up my fear in prayer to God and ask Him for guidance and grace. And for all who read this please keep on praying. It makes the these moments a bit easier knowing that lots of prayers are going up for my Little Man.
I gave him 1 tsp of Bendryl and within 15 minutes he seemed to settle. His lips went down and the hives seemed to lighten. Another random allergic, non-allergic reaction in the middle of the night that we survived! I had no idea what had triggered it and was glad to have caught it.
This is the killer thing about this situation - there is no pattern or logic. Ricks' immune system seems to randomly send out histamine that attacks his body. There is no trigger or cause needed so it is not really an allergic reaction. It is just his immune system acting as if there is a cause. It is annoying and scary. It happens at weird times and now I always have Bendryl with me.
I am exhausted after last night and a bit freaked out. It is overwhelming me to think of leaving him with this going on. What if someone doesn't notice this is happening? He can't verbalize it and what if it slips by whoever is taking care of him? What if it progresses and his breathing is affected? Oh boy the fears can roll on forever.
Dr. T is running a lot of blood work and we will hopefully find out more in a couple weeks. It all seems to be leading back to some kind of autoimmune disorder. They say it is hard to diagnosis an autoimmune in small children and I will second that. It feels like we are looking for a needle in a haystack and we have only begun. I don't know what our next step is and just trying to have faith in God. I second that faith with trust in Dr. T.
Today, in this moment, I feel scared. I also know in my heart that I will find the strength and courage needed in God. I will continue to send up my fear in prayer to God and ask Him for guidance and grace. And for all who read this please keep on praying. It makes the these moments a bit easier knowing that lots of prayers are going up for my Little Man.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Prayers, Joy and Much More
Today was a very busy day for us here in the Richter household. We got up and had some serious playing to do in our playroom. There were games of pet store, grocery store and restaurant. We finished off with some high energy dancing and lots of laughing while jumping on Daddy. Finally it was time for an early lunch so we could head out to Monarch Magic.
Monarch Magic was at our Metroparks. Maggie has been looking forward to it all summer and even the rain couldn't dampen our fun. Of course all the puddles the kids jumped in did dampen their clothes! We enjoyed a puppet show, some crafts and Maggie got new Monarch butterfly wings (and a magical wand). We had to race home so Maggie could get a snack and dry clothes before her first piano lesson. She LOVED it!! It was wonderful to see how proud she was and happy when she returned home. Not only does she get to learn piano (one of her favorite things) but she gets to spend time with her favorite guy (you guessed it - Daddy).
A quick dinner and Daddy had to leave for a bit. We settled in and got ready for bed. Maggie proudly taught me a thing or two she learned to day. We got Ricks to bed and made some pudding. Once Daddy came home, it was off to bed for Mags. The end of a very busy and exciting day!
We are still waiting for Ricks diabetes results and there is the emotion of the 10th anniversary of 9/11. I felt a tinge of emotion rushing through me today. There were moments of thankfulness, joy, concern and love. I had a few seconds cuddling Ricks when I said a prayer or two about his results. I remembered 10 years ago and thought of all those who lost someone. I said a prayer for each one and held my loved ones a bit closer. Lastly, I said a prayer of thanksgiving for my amazingly smart daughter (yes I will brag) and her fabulous Daddy. I hold close in my heart what an amazing father Rick is. He was as excited as her to spend time together in a passion they share - the piano. I believe this will be a gift to both of them and their relationship. At the end of the day, I kissed my husband and angels while my heart said a prayer of thanks again for it all.
Monarch Magic was at our Metroparks. Maggie has been looking forward to it all summer and even the rain couldn't dampen our fun. Of course all the puddles the kids jumped in did dampen their clothes! We enjoyed a puppet show, some crafts and Maggie got new Monarch butterfly wings (and a magical wand). We had to race home so Maggie could get a snack and dry clothes before her first piano lesson. She LOVED it!! It was wonderful to see how proud she was and happy when she returned home. Not only does she get to learn piano (one of her favorite things) but she gets to spend time with her favorite guy (you guessed it - Daddy).
A quick dinner and Daddy had to leave for a bit. We settled in and got ready for bed. Maggie proudly taught me a thing or two she learned to day. We got Ricks to bed and made some pudding. Once Daddy came home, it was off to bed for Mags. The end of a very busy and exciting day!
We are still waiting for Ricks diabetes results and there is the emotion of the 10th anniversary of 9/11. I felt a tinge of emotion rushing through me today. There were moments of thankfulness, joy, concern and love. I had a few seconds cuddling Ricks when I said a prayer or two about his results. I remembered 10 years ago and thought of all those who lost someone. I said a prayer for each one and held my loved ones a bit closer. Lastly, I said a prayer of thanksgiving for my amazingly smart daughter (yes I will brag) and her fabulous Daddy. I hold close in my heart what an amazing father Rick is. He was as excited as her to spend time together in a passion they share - the piano. I believe this will be a gift to both of them and their relationship. At the end of the day, I kissed my husband and angels while my heart said a prayer of thanks again for it all.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
The Virus That Keeps On Giving
Most "normal" kids get a virus and recover. They move on with their life and get healthy with no consequences. Unfortunately not my Ricks. My little zebra is not that lucky.
In early August both kids got a nasty virus with high fevers and throwing up. Maggie had a couple tough days but she bounced back. Ricks had a tough week and still is suffering the consequences.
This lovely virus has set into motion a couple of autoimmune concerns. One is chronic hives which are itchy and uncomfortable. He ALWAYS has hives or a rash on his back and chest. We are treating him with Allegra, Zyrtec and Bendryl if needed. These hives can last a week, a month, a year or years. There is no telling when or how they will go away. So we must get more blood work to help Dr. T figure out what to do and how to best treat them.
The hives are annoying but the the other concern is worrisome. There is a chance that Ricks may have Diabetes Type 1. This used to be known as Juvenile Diabetes. He has been so thirsty lately and peeing up a storm. Every diaper is soaked and at night it is a flood all over the crib. I have also noticed he has been a bit more tired or lethargic lately. Dr. T feels there is a 50/50 chance with the symptoms and family history that he could have it. I am banking on the glass half full 50 that he does not have it. Positive thinking goes along way!
We go tomorrow first thing (7:30) to the lab to get a fasting blood draw. Ricks will not be happy not to get his morning orange juice upon immediately waking up. It is going to be ugly around here. Then we wait until mid-afternoon to call Dr. T's office. Hopefully we will get a call back tomorrow but they have been known to wait until Monday. My feeling is I will worry about when I get the answer for sure that it is diabetes. For right now I will just follow the doctor's orders and do the next right thing.
God Your will be done not mine. Please protect my baby boy and may he not have to deal with the struggles of this disease. If it is Your will, please give me the peace, strength and wisdom to guide him through it. I trust that no matter what the answer You will be walking with us. I hand my anxieties and my baby to You. Please grace me with patience and serenity as we walk through the next few days.
In early August both kids got a nasty virus with high fevers and throwing up. Maggie had a couple tough days but she bounced back. Ricks had a tough week and still is suffering the consequences.
This lovely virus has set into motion a couple of autoimmune concerns. One is chronic hives which are itchy and uncomfortable. He ALWAYS has hives or a rash on his back and chest. We are treating him with Allegra, Zyrtec and Bendryl if needed. These hives can last a week, a month, a year or years. There is no telling when or how they will go away. So we must get more blood work to help Dr. T figure out what to do and how to best treat them.
The hives are annoying but the the other concern is worrisome. There is a chance that Ricks may have Diabetes Type 1. This used to be known as Juvenile Diabetes. He has been so thirsty lately and peeing up a storm. Every diaper is soaked and at night it is a flood all over the crib. I have also noticed he has been a bit more tired or lethargic lately. Dr. T feels there is a 50/50 chance with the symptoms and family history that he could have it. I am banking on the glass half full 50 that he does not have it. Positive thinking goes along way!
We go tomorrow first thing (7:30) to the lab to get a fasting blood draw. Ricks will not be happy not to get his morning orange juice upon immediately waking up. It is going to be ugly around here. Then we wait until mid-afternoon to call Dr. T's office. Hopefully we will get a call back tomorrow but they have been known to wait until Monday. My feeling is I will worry about when I get the answer for sure that it is diabetes. For right now I will just follow the doctor's orders and do the next right thing.
God Your will be done not mine. Please protect my baby boy and may he not have to deal with the struggles of this disease. If it is Your will, please give me the peace, strength and wisdom to guide him through it. I trust that no matter what the answer You will be walking with us. I hand my anxieties and my baby to You. Please grace me with patience and serenity as we walk through the next few days.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
39
Today is my 39th birthday! It is the best birthday I have ever had. There is nothing special or exciting about this year. I have had years with bigger celebrations or better gifts. I have had years with major surprises or got the one thing I truly wanted. This year has been pretty quiet. We had a full schedule over the weekend but today has been quiet and restful.
Why is this year the best? It is the best because I feel like there is nothing I need or even want. I have all I need. My heart and life are full. They are full of love, gratitude and happiness. Sure I would love a pedicure, dinner out with a couple friends, some new clothes, a pair of new shoes or even a morning to sleep in. Those would all be great things to get. But they would just be the cherry on top of this awesome sundae of my life.
Thank you God for all you have placed in my life. I am forever grateful for Your grace, miracles and loving presence in my life. I am the most blessed woman. It took me 39 years (really 38) to completely open my heart and soul for You. Now that I have I am learning everyday more about who I am. I am receiving the gift of loving and accepting myself. You guide me on my journey and provide the strength and wisdom I so often need. When I stumble You gently reach down and pick me up. I look around my life in wonder and amazement at all of the blessings and miracles. All I want is to do Your will and celebrate You. Amen.
Why is this year the best? It is the best because I feel like there is nothing I need or even want. I have all I need. My heart and life are full. They are full of love, gratitude and happiness. Sure I would love a pedicure, dinner out with a couple friends, some new clothes, a pair of new shoes or even a morning to sleep in. Those would all be great things to get. But they would just be the cherry on top of this awesome sundae of my life.
Thank you God for all you have placed in my life. I am forever grateful for Your grace, miracles and loving presence in my life. I am the most blessed woman. It took me 39 years (really 38) to completely open my heart and soul for You. Now that I have I am learning everyday more about who I am. I am receiving the gift of loving and accepting myself. You guide me on my journey and provide the strength and wisdom I so often need. When I stumble You gently reach down and pick me up. I look around my life in wonder and amazement at all of the blessings and miracles. All I want is to do Your will and celebrate You. Amen.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Birthday Events
Tuesday is my 39th birthday. I am known to celebrate ALL of Labor Day weekend and sometimes for at least a week. I LOVE birthdays, especially my own. The only birthdays I enjoy more are Maggie and Ricks! This year has been awesome and I have felt especially blessed.
The weekend started out with a haircut and some pampering yesterday morning. In the afternoon I got to lunch with my Maggie, my Mom and my sister MJ. It is always a treat to have girl time with Maggie. Of course what a better way to celebrate than with my Mom. The cherry on top was to have my sister there. We have had our rocky road the past year or so. God has worked his magic again in that relationship. I have done some heavy praying and the relationship is on the mend. We went to Shooters and saw planes from the air show, trains and boats. Maggie met a friend and we just enjoyed being together.
The rest of the day was spent just being with my family. Rick had his normal Saturday night out. I got Ricks to bed and cuddled up with Maggie. It felt so peaceful. This morning Maggie and I went to church and ran into some friends. I love our faith community. It is warm and welcoming. It is the perfect place for our family. This afternoon Rick and I took the kids and my Mom to a spot to watch the air show. It was testy at times to keep Ricks busy and out of trouble. Maggie found another friend (my social butterfly) and she only wanted to play. In the end, it was worth every minute to watch those planes zoom by.
Tonight I was treated to a birthday dinner with some friends. It was a great time of sharing and laughing (not to forget the awesome cake). I am blessed to be friends with some great ladies. God always knows how to put the right people in our paths when we need them. That is how I feel about a couple of these women. Times were changing and they helped me to stay connected and serene.
Tomorrow we have a cookout and on Tuesday a special family dinner. During the day on Tuesday I am just going to hang out with my kids. It is the last day before Maggie's school stuff starts and I am going to enjoy every moment of her. I don't want to make plans or schedules. I just want to be present in playing and talking with her. My hope for a gift from my angels is as many hugs, kisses and cuddles as they will give me. I hope my husband will give me a night off in the kitchen and some cuddle time of our own.
I don't think I ever remember feeling this blessed or peaceful on my birthday. All the things in the universe are just right (for the moment....give it time). I feel as if I have finally solved the puzzle (for today) and am comfortable in this skin. Someone said tonight that being honest with yourself is accepting yourself for who you are good and bad. That is a struggle for me but today I feel at peace with both parts. I am comfortable with my pros/cons. God has blessed me today with such a loving family, fabulous friends and so much I could never have dreamed of. I know this post may be a repeat and I probably drone on and on about it. The reality is I am so full that it all overflows onto these pages how much I love my life and how blessed I truly am.
Thanks God for all these awesome birthday blessings!
The weekend started out with a haircut and some pampering yesterday morning. In the afternoon I got to lunch with my Maggie, my Mom and my sister MJ. It is always a treat to have girl time with Maggie. Of course what a better way to celebrate than with my Mom. The cherry on top was to have my sister there. We have had our rocky road the past year or so. God has worked his magic again in that relationship. I have done some heavy praying and the relationship is on the mend. We went to Shooters and saw planes from the air show, trains and boats. Maggie met a friend and we just enjoyed being together.
The rest of the day was spent just being with my family. Rick had his normal Saturday night out. I got Ricks to bed and cuddled up with Maggie. It felt so peaceful. This morning Maggie and I went to church and ran into some friends. I love our faith community. It is warm and welcoming. It is the perfect place for our family. This afternoon Rick and I took the kids and my Mom to a spot to watch the air show. It was testy at times to keep Ricks busy and out of trouble. Maggie found another friend (my social butterfly) and she only wanted to play. In the end, it was worth every minute to watch those planes zoom by.
Tonight I was treated to a birthday dinner with some friends. It was a great time of sharing and laughing (not to forget the awesome cake). I am blessed to be friends with some great ladies. God always knows how to put the right people in our paths when we need them. That is how I feel about a couple of these women. Times were changing and they helped me to stay connected and serene.
Tomorrow we have a cookout and on Tuesday a special family dinner. During the day on Tuesday I am just going to hang out with my kids. It is the last day before Maggie's school stuff starts and I am going to enjoy every moment of her. I don't want to make plans or schedules. I just want to be present in playing and talking with her. My hope for a gift from my angels is as many hugs, kisses and cuddles as they will give me. I hope my husband will give me a night off in the kitchen and some cuddle time of our own.
I don't think I ever remember feeling this blessed or peaceful on my birthday. All the things in the universe are just right (for the moment....give it time). I feel as if I have finally solved the puzzle (for today) and am comfortable in this skin. Someone said tonight that being honest with yourself is accepting yourself for who you are good and bad. That is a struggle for me but today I feel at peace with both parts. I am comfortable with my pros/cons. God has blessed me today with such a loving family, fabulous friends and so much I could never have dreamed of. I know this post may be a repeat and I probably drone on and on about it. The reality is I am so full that it all overflows onto these pages how much I love my life and how blessed I truly am.
Thanks God for all these awesome birthday blessings!
Friday, September 2, 2011
A New Journey
Our fall schedule has started and it feels like life is changing around here quite a bit. Maggie starts school 5 mornings a week. It is a great and exciting thing for her and I know she will excel and love it. I am a bit nostalgic and sad that my baby girl is at the point we she will be away from me for 5 mornings. I realize it is only the beginning and next year it will be a full 5 days on her own.
Rick is taking his fall lineup of classes and working on his resume. He is currently working with CSU's career services for internships or possibly a job. This could happen tomorrow, next month or in January. There is no set time for him to make the transition back into the workplace. I am excited for him and proud of all his work and struggles.
Ricks is growing so much and becoming much more of a big boy then a baby. I watch him play everyday and listen to his speech develop. Gone is that tiny toddler who babbled. Now I have a strong and beautiful little boy who can recite a Dora episode in a minute.
I am starting a journey I never thought about. It is the journeying of rediscovering who I am. I LOVE being a Mom but lately I have loved changing hats and exploring other roles in my life (wife, friend, daughter, student, church member..) I have realized that my kids still need me (they are only 4 & 2) but I also have a bit more time to develop my interests and passions.
I am blessed because I have a faith that holds me through the good times and bad. God is an ever present in my heart, soul and mind. He has loved me, guided me and held me up. I try to do His will, see through His eyes and love with Christ's heart. Of course I stumble but I get up and try again.
Through this faith and with the past 10 years or so of a journey of self-discovery I feel I have found me. I finally feel as if I am feeling comfortable in my skin and with who I am. I am not ashamed of how I feel or what I think. I care less about what others think of me and just try to do the next right thing. It is amazing that now I have stopped feeling anxious, worried about others' opinions and trying to please the world - I have found a peace and have so much extra time and energy!
I love my life and as I have said many times, am extremely blessed. I used to want to be thinner, more liked by EVERYONE, included, loved, richer, etc, etc...... Now I "want" for nothing. My life is imperfectly perfect. My husband loves me and despite our issues, our marriage seems to have come out stronger. My kids are extraordinary (at least to me). My family and I have differences but I have been able to love them for who they are and not what I want them to be. I have friends from all parts of my life and each one is a gift. I am a part of my faith community and Maggie's school community. Basically, I am an active member in my life and not just someone watching from the sidelines.
My life is not only filled with blessings but it is a miracle. Ten years ago I never thought I would have a life like I do. My expectations were way below the wonderful place I find myself. God has reached down and kissed me on the forehead many times over. As I go through my day, I stop many times and look at all the blessings and miracles. I try to stop and breath it all in. I thank God for all He has placed in my life and for making me the way He did. I am not perfect but He made me just who I am for a reason. I hope to follow his directions and do His will even with my imperfections : )
Rick is taking his fall lineup of classes and working on his resume. He is currently working with CSU's career services for internships or possibly a job. This could happen tomorrow, next month or in January. There is no set time for him to make the transition back into the workplace. I am excited for him and proud of all his work and struggles.
Ricks is growing so much and becoming much more of a big boy then a baby. I watch him play everyday and listen to his speech develop. Gone is that tiny toddler who babbled. Now I have a strong and beautiful little boy who can recite a Dora episode in a minute.
I am starting a journey I never thought about. It is the journeying of rediscovering who I am. I LOVE being a Mom but lately I have loved changing hats and exploring other roles in my life (wife, friend, daughter, student, church member..) I have realized that my kids still need me (they are only 4 & 2) but I also have a bit more time to develop my interests and passions.
I am blessed because I have a faith that holds me through the good times and bad. God is an ever present in my heart, soul and mind. He has loved me, guided me and held me up. I try to do His will, see through His eyes and love with Christ's heart. Of course I stumble but I get up and try again.
Through this faith and with the past 10 years or so of a journey of self-discovery I feel I have found me. I finally feel as if I am feeling comfortable in my skin and with who I am. I am not ashamed of how I feel or what I think. I care less about what others think of me and just try to do the next right thing. It is amazing that now I have stopped feeling anxious, worried about others' opinions and trying to please the world - I have found a peace and have so much extra time and energy!
I love my life and as I have said many times, am extremely blessed. I used to want to be thinner, more liked by EVERYONE, included, loved, richer, etc, etc...... Now I "want" for nothing. My life is imperfectly perfect. My husband loves me and despite our issues, our marriage seems to have come out stronger. My kids are extraordinary (at least to me). My family and I have differences but I have been able to love them for who they are and not what I want them to be. I have friends from all parts of my life and each one is a gift. I am a part of my faith community and Maggie's school community. Basically, I am an active member in my life and not just someone watching from the sidelines.
My life is not only filled with blessings but it is a miracle. Ten years ago I never thought I would have a life like I do. My expectations were way below the wonderful place I find myself. God has reached down and kissed me on the forehead many times over. As I go through my day, I stop many times and look at all the blessings and miracles. I try to stop and breath it all in. I thank God for all He has placed in my life and for making me the way He did. I am not perfect but He made me just who I am for a reason. I hope to follow his directions and do His will even with my imperfections : )
Thursday, September 1, 2011
A Friend
A year ago when I walked into Maggie's first gymnastics class I could never have guessed I would meet a woman who would become a good friend. I spent many Wednesday afternoons sharing, discussing and laughing about many topics with my friend Lisa. It was always enjoyable and a much needed respite from the craziness of life.
During our hours spent hanging in the gymnastics lobby, we learned we shared a common bond. Our children had chronic health issues. The issues are very different but the frustrations, fears and sometimes even anger are the same. We both also share a strong faith in God. Again our faiths are very different but very strong in our lives and family. This woman was a blessing sent to help me walk through the craziness that life with pidd had become.
I strongly believe that God puts people in our life at the right time. Lisa came at one of those moments where I felt pretty alone on this journey. She shared her experiences and listened to mine. After our year of gymnastics was over, we have kept in touch. We have been out a couple times to just share what is happening in our lives. Each time I have walked away feeling as if God just knew that I needed a friend who was in the same lifeboat as me. Someone who was trying to steer and navigate around all kinds of medical interventions and jargon.
Recently some friendships have been stressed and even some ended. I feel like this was due to changes in me and stresses in my life due to my kids' conditions. It has had its hard moments when I realized the toll that this situation can take on our life. At the same time that those doors closed, God opened a window. He blessed me with Lisa as a friend. She is someone who has supported and encouraged me, not only in my kids' medical situations, but in life. I am grateful to have met her and all because my daughter is obsessed with gymnastics!
During our hours spent hanging in the gymnastics lobby, we learned we shared a common bond. Our children had chronic health issues. The issues are very different but the frustrations, fears and sometimes even anger are the same. We both also share a strong faith in God. Again our faiths are very different but very strong in our lives and family. This woman was a blessing sent to help me walk through the craziness that life with pidd had become.
I strongly believe that God puts people in our life at the right time. Lisa came at one of those moments where I felt pretty alone on this journey. She shared her experiences and listened to mine. After our year of gymnastics was over, we have kept in touch. We have been out a couple times to just share what is happening in our lives. Each time I have walked away feeling as if God just knew that I needed a friend who was in the same lifeboat as me. Someone who was trying to steer and navigate around all kinds of medical interventions and jargon.
Recently some friendships have been stressed and even some ended. I feel like this was due to changes in me and stresses in my life due to my kids' conditions. It has had its hard moments when I realized the toll that this situation can take on our life. At the same time that those doors closed, God opened a window. He blessed me with Lisa as a friend. She is someone who has supported and encouraged me, not only in my kids' medical situations, but in life. I am grateful to have met her and all because my daughter is obsessed with gymnastics!
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